'Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues' - Movie Review

*What follows is not just your average Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues review. No sir, what follows is more than a review. What follows is a good old fashioned homage to a true American patriot. The kind that makes you want to buy a George Washington wig, punch a Brit in the man cave, slay a few Indians on the eve of Thanksgiving and sing some Willie Nelson in your red, white and blue tiled bathtub. Enjoy, Planet Earth.

HOMAGE:

Born the son of Claude and Brender Burgundy, Ronald Beverly Burgundy was born to make love to a myriad of women (and Bruce Lee, as Ron graphically describes in his autobiography, Ron Burgundy: Let Me Off At The Top), fight with the strength of Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary and, of course, read the news.

Growing up in Haggleworth, Iowa - a town named after Franklin Haggleworth, a renegade Mormon who started a new sect which concentrated on worshipping Haggleworth's penis - was not always easy for Ron, as he explains in his autobiography.

"My father, Claude Burgundy, was a learned man, educated in Oxford. He came to Haggleworth out of a deep respect for its unliveable conditions. His wife, and soul mate for life, Brender, was all class with tits out to here. I didn't much care for either of them but they were my parents and I loved them both dearly. On Saturday nights they went dancing over at the Elks Lodge. They never missed a Saturday night at the lodge. Just as soon as they were out the door it was every Burgundy for himself. Fists, chair legs, frying pans, railroad spikes - whatever was lying around the house we used to pummel the other guy. We all had our tricks. Horner set traps all over the house. Lonny carried a whip. Bartholemew welded himself a whole medieval suit of armor. Jessup had attack dogs. For me it quickly came down to Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary, the names I gave my left and right fists respectively. With Johnson I was able to fend off most of the blows, but with O'Leary I could mete out my own share of pain. By the time I was ten years old even my oldest brother, Hargood, knew to keep  away from O'Leary's leaden punishment. Johnson had them on their heels quick but O'Leary was the one that put them to sleep."

Yet despite these normal hardships in the family home and in the streets of an otherwise misunderstood town, Ron Burgundy rose to fame thanks to his father's passion for reading the news. Or I should say his father's passion for reading out anything but news.

Let's face the facts: If Ron Burgundy is anything, other than a supreme lover, news reader and fighter, it's an American patriot. Yes, his loud, jovial, and unabashed personality bleeds the red, white and blue.

"I am a real patriot. It's a pretty controversial opinion, I know, but I love the United States of America and I'm not afraid to say it. There was a time, from about 1967 to 1974 [the height of the Vietnam War!], when I would make phone calls to people I didn't know all across this land and tell them that I loved the United States. Imagine you're sitting in your home, lying in bed or in the kitchen enjoying a meal, and the phone rings. Now imagine picking up the phone and the first thing you hear is "I love the United States." It must have been great. My phone bills were through the roof! I didn't care. It was my way of giving back. Some guys went off to war, some gave to charities and still others had red, white and blue belts. I called people at any hour of the night in cities all across this nation to let them know how I feel.

If you don't love this country you need to go and spend a half hour in Canada or Mexico. Here's two countries, literally right next to us, that really blew it."

Perhaps you caught on that Ron absolutely loathes his southern and northern neighbours. And for good reason! Just take a swig of what Ron has had to put up with in Canadia.

"Imagine sitting in an airport lobby for three days. The only food you can eat is raw potatoes and water. The whole time you're being forced to listen to babies crying and the hits of Sha Na Na. Also there are no bathrooms. This is the kind of insufferable boredom one feels the moment you enter Canada. Your whole body begins to physically decay. The spiritual life drains out of you. Suicide constantly enters your thoughts. Being awake in Canada offers nothing more than watching the sands of your own morality pass through the hourglass until it is empty. "

Here is a newsman that not only possesses “salon quality hair,” but has gone to the horrid ends of the earth continent to report the news. Biased? Sure. But who isn't, when you hail from the splendid penis worshipping, tyrannical town of Haggleworth, Iowa, US-of-A?

Before we move on to reflect on the documentary, Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues, let me just comment on the seductive albatross that is Ron Burgundy. For a man to be an anchorman there must tick, beneath his chiselled hood, a libido that could challenge that of Fabio himself. So, it won’t surprise you that Ron’s first lover came a-knocking (and a-rocking) when he was only 12 (she was 27). Their love was one of unbridled passion and eloquence. Just take a snort of Ron and Jenny Haggleworth’s correspondence.

Dearest Jenny,

Every hour I spend away from you is another hour in torment. I cannot bear the distance our hearts must suffer. Purgatory knows no pain like the agony of our separation. My minutes are filled with anxious longing for a mere glimpse of your beauty. The ruby ringlets in your hair, like ribbons adorning a Christmas gift, await my unfurling! A poem I wrote to you! “So soft the cheek, so smooth the shoulders, the liquefaction of your clothes rippling over your huge boulders.” Ron Burgundy, Haggleworth, Iowa, 1952.

I must see you. Until then, my heart beats only for your answer.

Your love servant, Ron Burgundy.

Ron,

Got your letter. Meet in make-out woods after work.

Jenny

PS: Bring gum. 

Sweet Jenny,

I am beside myself with joy! Your encouraging words of our anticipated reunion and our innocent pleasures have placed me in a transcendent mood! God surely works a spirit through every living being and only love can open the window to its ebb and flow. I shall wait upon the hour in joyous anticipation. Your thoughts of shared love shall remain forever locked in my bosom awaiting a key that only you possess. Oh, Jenny Haggleworth! How the name itself floats and flutters like a butterfly over the fields of flowers. Our reunion cannot come fast enough. Not ever Mercury himself with winged foot could bring about our conjoining with the speed my heart so desires. I am forever at your mercy and your undying worshipper, Ron Burgundy.

Ron,

Might be late. Gotta get some oil for my car. See ya.

Jenny

PS: Bring gum.

Mmmm. That is rich and compelling stuff. It’s no wonder they say young love is the most sincere of all the loves.

REVIEW:

 

It has been nine years since we’ve seen the greatest living anchorman don the Burgundy suits. Some say it’s been too long. Others say that it’s been far too long. What both sides can agree on is that it’s been too long. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy was a sleeper satire and a bat-shit-crazy-bag-of-laughs comedy that didn’t smash the box office ($85 million domestically) but gave video store checkout geeks a hard time after it became a pop culture phenomenon. The comedy fused absurd catchphrases with hilarious, yet childish, improv, the likes of which hasn’t been executed this well (in Hollywood) since Airplane! (1980). Director Adam McKay, who comes from an improv and sketch comedy background, partnered with Will Ferrell to create the Ron Burgundy story. McKay allowed for Will and the now famous cast of funny men to improv their way through much of the film. This made for a delightful mess. After filming, it took a hellacious effort for the director, editor and production team to pick out the funniest moments which complimented the storyline of the ever changing world of television news in the 1970s. 

In this much anticipated sequel, the “diversity” of the 1970s has left us for the crack smoking fun of the 1980s. But don’t worry, while this sequel does push a few barriers – there’s a tad more swearing and hilarious racial jokes – it’s still a classy showing from the boys. In many ways it’s a matter of old meets new. The jazz flutist gets another solo, there's another absurd animal combat scene and a rival news battle royale breaks out, again. Unfortunately, these scenes can’t replicate the hilarity of the first go round, as the crucial element of surprise has vanished. It certainly doesn’t stop McKay and Ferrell from trying to up-the-ante and go for broke, though.

McKay and Ferrell are less effective, however, in their decision to make the film a good half hour longer than the first and in the cluttered storyline. It starts out with less laughs but a promising premise, Ron needing to find redemption (still spelt “R O N”) after his wife (Christina Applegate) is promoted and he is fired from his weekend co-anchor job in New York. This causes Ron to abandon his wife and son and head back to San Diago, where he takes a job at what looks to be Sea World, only to be fired after he confesses to sexually assaulting starfish! Yet even after walking out on his family, assaulting marine animals and trying to hang himself, you just can’t stay mad at this guy. He’s just too darn outlandishly hilarious. 

After being offered a gig on a new 24 hours news station in New York, Ron sets out on a wild adventure to track down and bring back his Channel 4 news team. There are some funny moments here – Champ (David Koechner) and Brian’s (Paul Rudd) reintroductions – and some less funny moments – Brick’s (Steve Carrell) fiasco funeral, which is hard to get into because of the trailers.

From here on out it is anyone’s guess as to what the production crew was thinking. The storyline takes some questionable turns, giving the feel that the film sorely needs some further editing. For example, Ron’s blindness might have led him to Doby, but it came off in the end feeling like just an opportunity for McKay and Ferrell to work in one of their musical numbers. And while there certainly doesn’t have to be a solid plot, one has to wonder if McKay and Ferrell grew a little over adventurous and confident. Another example of this comes in the form of Ron’s interracial hilarity with Linda Jackson (Meagan Good). Whereas, in the first film Ron’s relationship with Veronica progressed the story nicely, his relationship here with the vivacious Linda Jackson doesn’t amount to much and serves only for some laughs. And while a fish-out-of-water white guy at an African American family dinner is not new in Hollywood comedies, there are some truly funny moments to be enjoyed. On top of that the office scene, where Jackson pursues Ron, also gives Ferrell the opportunity to work within his element.

The end result is less of an all-round funny film with a well constructed story and more a comedy with some hilarious moments and scenes. At the top of this list has to be the condom scene, where Brian Fantana retires sex panther (or so we think...) only to bring about a hilarious back-and-forth centred on the effectiveness of different condoms! You won’t want to be stuffing any popcorn in your mouth at this moment. In fact, popcorn is a 'bad choice!'

While Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues is still very much centred around the character sketch of Ron Burgundy, which can be a hit-and-miss affair depending on your desired comedic style, there are some role changes in this second instalment. The most noticeable change comes in the character of Brick Tamland (Steve Carrell). Perhaps due to Carrell’s rise since the first instalment in 2004, Brick takes on a life of his own here. His romance with Chani (Kristin Wiig) is well documented in the trailer, and it doesn’t disappoint, but one can’t help but think that Brick has become an overplayed character.

The celebrity pop-ups continue throughout the film, yet come to a climax in the famed battle royale scene. Keep a note pad and pen handy so that you can keep track of all the familiar faces. Or just check the 'you ruin everything, Kevin' IMDB website for a full list of names. And with the ghost of Stonewall Jackson, a Minotaur and a throwback Jim Carrey at the thick of things, the fighting will entertain... and escalate quickly. But for the love of everything good, why did they give the self-serving Kanye West a gig? And what was happening with Harrison Ford in the end? Give me a bilingual Ben Stiller any day.  

The result is a titillating film that doesn’t hold back. McKay and Ferrell stick to their winning formula, while also chucking a few curve-balls here and there. The stage is set well but the execution perhaps isn’t as flawless as the immortalised original. Yet as many in Hollywood have confessed over the years, it is a lot more difficult to pull off a comedic role than a dramatic role. So we need to thank great Odin's raven that these guys are still doing their thing. 

PS: This is by far Vince Vaughn's best showing in 2013. Anchorman just isn't Anchorman without a juicy Dorothy Mantooth line to chew on. And this one is a beaut! Thank you for returning Vince to vintage form.

7.5/10