'300: Rise of an Empire' - Movie Review

There are three things we need to remind ourselves of before we go and watch 300: Rise of an Empire.

1. There will be blood.
2. We shouldn't expect an accurate history lesson. 
3. The West is (apparently) righteous.

This is not your typical sequel. Rise of an Empire is more of a companion piece to go alongside Zack Snyder’s 2007 gore-fest, 300. This could even be described as the Athenian 300. And while we witness another showdown between the freedom - and now democracy - loving Greeks and the greedy, tyrannical and sadistic Persians, this new installment just isn't as thrilling. What is interesting is the decision to have this film play out before, during and after Leonidis and his men battle the golden (literally) King Xerxes (a digitally transformed Rodrigo Santoro).
 
My hope isn’t that one will brush up on Greek and Persian history going into 300. My hope is that this gore-fest might inspire someone to actually research the players and the period. Sorry lads, Artemisia’s real story is not what the 300 franchise conjured up. It had to be said.

 This is Eva Green’s movie, though, there’s no doubting that. From the moment we are introduced to Artemisia, who crafts, creates and in many ways controls the ‘God King’ (Xerxes), we know that she’s a woman who craves Greek blood. Her story injects much needed intrigue and venom. As recounted through the ordinary but essential exposition in the opening half hour, she’s a Greek born woman who was forced into sexual slavery by the Greeks, only to be taken in and trained by the Persians. And sure enough, out of destitution and slavery comes a woman whose skill and tactical brilliance matches her thirst for Greek blood. Obviously this makes proceedings fairly straight forward, but it matches what the franchise wants to do – make visual effect epics. She is to Persia what Themistocles (Sullivan Stapleton) is to Athens. This makes for a roaring (naval) showdown... which includes an intense pre-battle sex scene between the Athenian naval commander and the Persian naval commander.

What ultimately lets this side-sequel – or what co-producer Wesley Coller calls “an equal [movie]” – down is the fledgling narrative and dialogue. Enough with the cliche monologues! It’s too graphic novel for its own good. The events coincide with Leonidis and Xerxes’ battle at the Hot Gates, but it’s just not as captivating as 300. It's too much of a copy and not enough story. The Israeli director (Murro) appears to channel his inner-Snyder (who produced and co-wrote!) throughout.

 
At the end of the day, it's mind blowing action which we are paying to see. Heads splitting open, blood splattering across the screen, hunky men wielding weaponry! It gets to the point where you wonder why other movies don’t show more blood. In other action movies people just don’t bleed. And here they can’t stop bleeding. Then there are the abs, pectorals and all that crotch-cloth! I wouldn’t take my wife to see this in a million years. No, not because of the gore, but because of what she’s missing out on! I’m as hairy as a Greek, not that they are hairy here, but I sure don’t have those protruding... body parts. Did men actually look like this? Sure, the Spartans were fascist, muscle bound freaks, but what about the potters of Athens? 

It’s pleasing to see Aussie Sullivan Stapleton play the heroic Themistocles well. Sure, it doesn’t hurt to play the righteous and morally upright hero, but Stapleton is still able to act and look goooood. He creates intrigue for his character, and that’s about as much as you can ask for.

Eva Green will leave the blokes grunting and give the women something to cheer. Her character is well suited for a 300 bonanza. She steals the show and her battles scenes, across from Stapleton, are some of the best. A tip of the hat is also in order for Aussie cinematographer Simon Duggan (The Great Gatsby) who brought the action to life.

Go for the brutal violence, show-stopping action and Eva Green’s presence and you’ll have a ball. Go for a history and dialogue lesson and you’ll leave distraught. It’s all about action... and guilty pleasure.

6/10

P.S. Enough with the slo-mo violence!

'Captain America: The Winter Soldier' - A First Look Review

Captain America and I have never really seen eye-to-eye. Having grown up as an avid basketball card collector, I scoffed at those who dared to "collect" anything else. (Comic books included.) So there's no Captain America nostalgia stirring inside of me when I see the movies. And then there was that two hour lecture on why we shouldn't be bullies like the Nazis: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011). Why, Hugo Weaving, why?!

"We knew we were going to make the first movie a period piece. It was the only way to make a Captain America movie that would not come off as ridiculous. A man does not decide to put on an American flag outfit in 2011, but he might in World War II." - Co-screenwriter, Stephen McFeely.

There's something too Superman-esque about Captain America. If anything he's Marvel's answer to the caped crusader. It's as if Uncle Sam's wet dream finally came true... in 3D. Patriotic, sacrificial, physically intimidating, yet painfully humble. He always does what is right and pisses on what's wrong. Give me House Of Cards' Frank Underwood over this so called American Hero.

At the outset of The Winter Soldier, our Captain (Chris Evans) is found doing laps of the memorial site in D.C.. Still ripped - putting all other 90 year olds to shame -  and still as humble as ever: "On your left". Exposition is spread neatly throughout the first hour, but when Hydra manages to creep back into the picture - it unfortunately had to happen - we are left wanting to brush up on our "crazy left wing Nazi totalitarianism meets American policy making" theories.

What stands out about this sequel compared to other post-Avengers Marvel sequels (think Thor 2) is that things get political. After S.H.I.E.L.D.'s role in society is questioned and Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) is taken for a hellacious ride, questions of national and international security and foreign policy arise. There are also some juicy questions to answer surrounding intelligence gathering and civil liberties. Where's Edward Snowden when you need him? And to try and authenticate this wide spread of everything conspiracy, the Marvel minds brought in THE CONSPIRACY MAN, Robert Redford (3 Days Of Condor, All The President's Men). 

"I don't think Marvel's ever done anything like this. The [Russo] brothers said right from the start that we were really doing a '70s thriller. And I think just Cap's abilities mesh well with that kind of genre. I mean, his powers are very meat and potatoes. Faster. Stronger. Punch. Kick. That works with those types of movies. It would be more difficult to put, say, Hulk in that kind of context." - Chris Evans.

Cast as Alexander Pierce, the dude who appears to run the country (where was the President in all of this?), Redford gives the film bite. We know he's not a trustworthy bloke, but what we don't know is his true agenda. Is he good yet willing to accept the idea that the end justifies the means? Or is he bad, power hungry and willing to break people to gain total control?

Where the film flops, however, is in the bit character of the Winter Soldier (Sebastian Stan). Not only are we left wondering why they threw in this fledgling, half-baked, sentimental plot twist character, but all I could think when his mask was torn off was, "Why was he wearing a mask?!" If he has no idea who he is, then why the mask? It was hard to get around this thought... and the constant Dodge advertising placements.

Chris Evans registers somewhere around Chris Hemsworth's Thor when it comes to the superhero game. It is as if these blokes are only there to make Robert Downey Jr. look good. Seriously, can't we get something more than a rippling body, a few 'fish out of water' lines and a bunch of arse kicking? Give us something else. Well, ok, something other than Scarlett Johansson. Not that our eyes aren't grateful. Her increased role as Black Widow does the movie some good, with an actual character beginning to be developed!

 
Yet, as far as the conspiracies go, at heart this is still a swashbuckling action movie. Henceforth, we have our usual high octane scenes which always end with a hefty clean up bill. High-tech weaponry is wielded, while explosions and bone crunching fight scenes are served hot. As grand as these sequences are, though, the man-to-man combat had my eyes straining. Yes, it's the shaky-cam craze! There were moments when I needed to rest my eyes, for the shaky-cam tactics, in 3-D, were beginning to get the better of me (think Bourne... in 3-D).

 
Marvel set Captain America into motion in 2011, and in 2014 they've attempted to roll the dice. The masterstroke has been bringing the conspiracy questions we battle with today into the fold, and using Cap' to play judge. But Hydra's return stretches plausibility too thin over these 70 years following the end of WWII. The Uncle Sam and Nazi hocus-pocus is a bridge too far for a history student who didn't grow up with comic books.

It's Marvel's (cinematic) world, and we are all just paying rent.

6.5/10

Captain America: The Winter Soldier is out April 4.