'300: Rise of an Empire' - Movie Review

There are three things we need to remind ourselves of before we go and watch 300: Rise of an Empire.

1. There will be blood.
2. We shouldn't expect an accurate history lesson. 
3. The West is (apparently) righteous.

This is not your typical sequel. Rise of an Empire is more of a companion piece to go alongside Zack Snyder’s 2007 gore-fest, 300. This could even be described as the Athenian 300. And while we witness another showdown between the freedom - and now democracy - loving Greeks and the greedy, tyrannical and sadistic Persians, this new installment just isn't as thrilling. What is interesting is the decision to have this film play out before, during and after Leonidis and his men battle the golden (literally) King Xerxes (a digitally transformed Rodrigo Santoro).
 
My hope isn’t that one will brush up on Greek and Persian history going into 300. My hope is that this gore-fest might inspire someone to actually research the players and the period. Sorry lads, Artemisia’s real story is not what the 300 franchise conjured up. It had to be said.

 This is Eva Green’s movie, though, there’s no doubting that. From the moment we are introduced to Artemisia, who crafts, creates and in many ways controls the ‘God King’ (Xerxes), we know that she’s a woman who craves Greek blood. Her story injects much needed intrigue and venom. As recounted through the ordinary but essential exposition in the opening half hour, she’s a Greek born woman who was forced into sexual slavery by the Greeks, only to be taken in and trained by the Persians. And sure enough, out of destitution and slavery comes a woman whose skill and tactical brilliance matches her thirst for Greek blood. Obviously this makes proceedings fairly straight forward, but it matches what the franchise wants to do – make visual effect epics. She is to Persia what Themistocles (Sullivan Stapleton) is to Athens. This makes for a roaring (naval) showdown... which includes an intense pre-battle sex scene between the Athenian naval commander and the Persian naval commander.

What ultimately lets this side-sequel – or what co-producer Wesley Coller calls “an equal [movie]” – down is the fledgling narrative and dialogue. Enough with the cliche monologues! It’s too graphic novel for its own good. The events coincide with Leonidis and Xerxes’ battle at the Hot Gates, but it’s just not as captivating as 300. It's too much of a copy and not enough story. The Israeli director (Murro) appears to channel his inner-Snyder (who produced and co-wrote!) throughout.

 
At the end of the day, it's mind blowing action which we are paying to see. Heads splitting open, blood splattering across the screen, hunky men wielding weaponry! It gets to the point where you wonder why other movies don’t show more blood. In other action movies people just don’t bleed. And here they can’t stop bleeding. Then there are the abs, pectorals and all that crotch-cloth! I wouldn’t take my wife to see this in a million years. No, not because of the gore, but because of what she’s missing out on! I’m as hairy as a Greek, not that they are hairy here, but I sure don’t have those protruding... body parts. Did men actually look like this? Sure, the Spartans were fascist, muscle bound freaks, but what about the potters of Athens? 

It’s pleasing to see Aussie Sullivan Stapleton play the heroic Themistocles well. Sure, it doesn’t hurt to play the righteous and morally upright hero, but Stapleton is still able to act and look goooood. He creates intrigue for his character, and that’s about as much as you can ask for.

Eva Green will leave the blokes grunting and give the women something to cheer. Her character is well suited for a 300 bonanza. She steals the show and her battles scenes, across from Stapleton, are some of the best. A tip of the hat is also in order for Aussie cinematographer Simon Duggan (The Great Gatsby) who brought the action to life.

Go for the brutal violence, show-stopping action and Eva Green’s presence and you’ll have a ball. Go for a history and dialogue lesson and you’ll leave distraught. It’s all about action... and guilty pleasure.

6/10

P.S. Enough with the slo-mo violence!